Welcome to the Dark World of Parenting

Let me be clear. I love my children. I even planned them. I’m talking counting days and ovulation tests to get them here.

I wanted them, prayed for them, danced a jig when I saw those positive pregnancy tests. Feeling their kicks was pure joy.

 They are two people I would kill for (well at least maim—I don’t look great in orange or jumpsuits). I kiss and hug them non-stop.

They are my favorites.

HOWEVER…they get on my #$%^& nerves. I mean, no one drives me bonkers quite like those two. They are the primary reason that I journal, use hair dye, and why my fridge might not have milk in it, but always has wine.

So, I’m writing this blog for all of us. The ones who truly love their children but have had thoughts of driving them to a forest and leaving them there. Oh, that’s just me? Yeah, ok.

I’m tired of the shaming of “real” parents. I’m tired of the fake smiles and the stories about how motherhood is the best thing since sliced bread.  I’m tired of people pretending like it’s ALL sweet kisses and cute school pictures, when we know, at times, it’s a soul sucking chore to even make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the ingrates.

 I’m writing this blog for you. I’m writing it for me. I want to set the fake, Stepford-ish Mommies free and tell them, “We know why you drink, Honey. Oh yeah, we understand.”

Parenting is hard and many times the rewards don’t come for maybe two decades when you MIGHT get one of them to say, “Hey Mom, thanks for like buying me stuff and coming to my plays.”

My hope is that you’ll see yourself in my struggle; you’ll know you’re not alone and you’ll fully embrace and announce to the world, “I DON’T LIKE MY KIDS!!” Just me again? Ok, whatever. Just keep reading…