Quit following me around, with a side of, "Why won't you give me a hug?"
There is no more effective stalker than a needy toddler. How many of you have been walking, minding your own business, turned around abruptly and knocked the little crumb snatcher over because they were so close on your heels? You want ‘em, you cuddle and coddle them and then, at some point, all you want out of life is for them to sit on another piece of furniture. I know I’m not alone finding myself in a bathroom with a child banging on the door and crying because they haven’t seen you in 10 seconds. One day, as I was trying to steal a moment to myself in the bathroom, in walks my daughter, who might have been three at the time. Well, it was nearing the end of “that time of the month” and since she was ALL in my face, she sees the pad and says, “Oooohhhhh, you pooped on yourself! Ohhhhhhhhh. Bad Mommy!” Little girl, if I could have had just TWO minutes by my damn self in here, neither one of us would be experiencing this trauma. My son, who is 13 years old at this writing, can pretty